


A Breath of Kindness

by icandrawamoth



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anxiety, Anxious Bodhi, Awkward Bodhi, Bisexual Male Character, Cassian is a Sweetheart, Conversations, Crushes, Fandom Trumps Hate, First Dates, Fluff, Friendship, Gay Character, Gen, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Male Friendship, Nervousness, One of My Favorites, POV Bodhi Rook, Pining, Post-Rogue One, Post-Star Wars: A New Hope, Pre-Slash, Puns & Word Play, Wingman Wedge, because the Empire are dicks in every possible way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 17:37:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9835100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/pseuds/icandrawamoth
Summary: Bodhi makes a friend in fellow Imperial defector Wedge, who helps give him the courage to act on his feelings for Cassian.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bethagain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bethagain/gifts).



> Written for bethagain for Fandom Trumps Hate; their prompt was, in short: " _I would love if you could write something in support of freedom, of peace, of diversity, of kindness._ "
> 
> Title from [this lovely quote](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3c/f8/12/3cf812a4a301ac2b8bfd2eadeba515ff.jpg) (which is apparently good for titles, since I've taken one from it before).

Bodhi is sitting in the commissary, but he isn't eating. Currently, he has a forkful of food suspended about halfway to his mouth as he stares across the room.

At where Cassian is sitting. The captain is with what Bodhi assumes are fellow intelligence agents, the group of them talking animatedly. One of them apparently makes a joke, and Cassian laughs loudly, his head thrown back, and Bodhi's eyes are riveted to the line of his neck. Bodhi has found Cassian attractive pretty much since the moment they met, but this unreserved, easygoing side of him isn't something he's seen often. Between life-or-death missions and the panic of the Rebellion moving bases shortly after he showed up, it feels like they haven't spent much time together at all, but Bodhi has enjoyed every moment of it.

“So, have you asked him yet?”

Bodhi starts as someone sits down across from him, their tray clanking what seems like too loudly against the table. He shifts his gaze to the interloper. Brown hair, brown eyes, orange flight suit tied around his waist. A fighter pilot. For half a second, Bodhi's heart twists in jealousy.

“Asked who what?” he replies and has to hold back a grimace when he hears how defensive he sounds.

“Asked Captain Andor out,” the other man says casually. “From the way you were staring just now, it's pretty clear you're interested. I certainly don't blame you.”

Bodhi can't even feel jealously at the last comment; it's drowned out by the icy chill down his spine, the way his guts go hard with panic. “That wasn't- I wasn't- I don't-” he babbles. He can feel his face going red. He clamps his mouth shut before he can say something incriminating.

The man across from him frowns. “Okay, let me start over,” he says after a moment. His face easily falls back into a smile as he sticks his hand over the table. “I'm Wedge. Wedge Antilles.”

“Bodhi Rook,” Bodhi answers, automatically shaking his hand as his tries to will himself back to composure.

Wedge laughs easily. “I know who you are. You were part of Rogue One – you got us the Death Star plans!”

Bodhi ducks his head, flushing a bit. “Yeah, I was there.”

“Don't be shy,” Wedge says with wide eyes. “I heard you flew the shuttle that saved the rest of your team before the Death Star fired on the planet. Is that true?”

“It's true,” Bodhi demures, because it's not like he's going to lie. “But you're a pilot. You helped destroy it.” At least talking about this is somewhat easier.

Wedge shrugs. “There are people who did more than me. I had to pull out of the trench run because my ship took damage.”

“But you were there. I wish I could have been.”

Wedges makes a face. “I don't think you do, really. Want to fly, sure; want to fly against a superweapon like that – _no._ ”

“You're probably right,” Bodhi concedes. “But it's not like I _wanted_ to be on Scarif either. I just knew it was the right thing.”

Wedges smiles. “Exactly! That's why we're all here isn't it? Because the Rebellion is doing the right thing, and the Empire is unequivocally wrong. That's why I defected.”

Bodhi's eyes go wide. “You defected, too?”

“Yeah. Two years ago, me and my friend Hobbie were at Skystrike Academy on Montross. We got in touch with the Rebellion, and they sent an agent to get us out. There was one more of us, Rake, but he...didn't make it.” Wedge's eyes dart away for a moment, clearly processing an old pain, but when he looks back, he's determined. “There are more defectors around than you might think. For a lot of us, you can only work for the Empire for so long before you realize that what they're doing is just wrong. That you have to fight against it.”

“Yeah, exactly.” Wedge's mention of his lost friend makes Bodhi remember Galen. His heart squeezes as he thinks of the man who showed him the way, gave him an out. He doesn't know if Wedge knows anything about that part of his story, and the pain is still too fresh for him to talk about it now. “I'm glad to know it's not just me.”

“Definitely not just you. It's weird, though, isn't it? Getting used to how the Rebellion does things compared to the Empire? I remember it was for me. I mean, some of it is the same. The chain of command stuff, that sort of thing. But we have freedoms here we didn't have before. We can be friends with our colleagues rather than competitors. We can love who we want.”

That last phrase is said with extra meaning, and Bodhi suppresses a shudder. So they've come full circle, then. He risks a glance over Wedge's shoulder, sees that Cassian and his friends have left. “I suppose that's true,” he hedges.

Wedges gives him a look that's both sympathetic and a little frustrated. “I know we just met, but you can tell me the truth, Bodhi. The Rebellion doesn't judge like the Empire. I saw the way you were looking at Captain Andor. You like men, right?”

Even as Bodhi's heart is thumping wildly, it's a sort of odd relief to hear the question asked aloud and so bluntly (and not coming from an Imperial loyalty officer). Almost before he can think about it, he answers honestly, “Yeah. Yeah, I do.” His voice is still soft, though, hesitant.

“There's nothing wrong with that,” Wedge says with a smile. “I like men _and_ women myself. But right now...you know Luke Skywalker?”

Bodhi's eyes go round. “The pilot who fired the shot that destroyed the Death Star? The Jedi?”

“The one and only,” Wedge says with a proud grin. “He's my boyfriend.”

Bodhi doesn't quite know how to respond to that, besides feeling a twinge of jealously at Wedge's pride, how unhesitating he is to announce himself like that, how happy he seems to be with Luke just from that one line.

“You should ask Captain Andor out,” Wedge says, “if that's what you want.”

Bodhi presses a hand to his reddening face. “You make it sound so easy.”

“Go slow, then,” Wedge advises. “Give yourself some time to get used to the idea. Then just ask him. He won't mind. Even if he says no, it's not like he's going to be cruel to you or anything.”

Bodhi groans. “If I did get up the nerve to ask him, I don't think I'd survive him saying no.”

“You would,” Wedge assures him. “And it's not like there aren't loads of other highly eligible guys on this base if he's not interested.”

Bodhi huffs. “Are you offering to be my wingman?”

A grin spreads itself onto Wedge's face. “Maybe. Anything I can do to help out a fellow deserter. Being a wingman is kind of what I do, after all.”

Bodhi stares at him. “Was that a _pun_?”

Wedges laughs. “I couldn't help it. It was right there.”

Bodhi smiles. He's feeling more and more comfortable with Wedge. It's clear they share a lot: they're both pilots of a sort, both former Imperials, both with men they...love. Maybe. And if his new friend really wants to help him try to get Cassian's attention in a romantic way, Bodhi isn't going to complain. Left to his own devices, he would honestly probably be too anxious to ever act on his feelings.

“So if I do want to...ask Cassian out,” Bodhi begins, trying to choose his words. He feels like an awkward teenager again – though that's a phase he's never entirely grown out of, he thinks. “How do I even start?”

“Hmm.” Wedges leans his chin on his hand thoughtfully. “Well, do you have any indications of whether or not he might reciprocate your interest?”

Bodhi thinks. They haven't had much direct contact outside of missions, and barely anything one-on-one. Cassian has smiled at him a few times, making his heart flutter and his head go all fuzzy, but at that point he was far too compromised by his own emotions to try and determine if it was anything other than acknowledgment of a job well done on Cassian's side. “ I don't know...”

“That's fine,” Wedge is quick to assure him. “You don't always. My suggestion? Just try and spend some time with him. Maybe talk about your mutual interests. And when it feels like the time is right, ask him.”

“I wish it would be that easy,” Bodhi sighs.

“It'll be fine,” Wedge promises. “There's no other way to know, right? You have to try. Otherwise you'll just keep wondering forever.”

“Right...”

Wedge finishes his food and makes to stand. “I have to go. Very important briefing,” he says with a playful roll of his eyes. “I'll talk to you later, okay? Good luck.”

Bodhi stands too, the butterflies in his stomach making it hard to eat any more. “Thank you,” he says. “For the advice.”

“Hey, what're friends for?” Wedge gives him a last smile and is gone.

Bodhi smiles to himself, feeling warm. _Friend._ His first in the Rebellion outside of his team.

 

* * *

 

In all honestly, the next several days don't show much progress. Bodhi finds himself dancing around Cassian, ever more desperate to start a conversation, but always too nervous. They don't have any missions scheduled, so it's difficult to come up with a good excuse to try and get him alone. Plus, Bodhi is continually surprised by how much he can want this thing and be completely terrified of getting it at the same time.

Four days after his conversation with Wedge, though, Cassian approaches him. Bodhi is walking around the hangers admiring the rebel starfighters when Cassian, stationed at the team's U-wing, catches his eye and waves him over. Bodhi tries to stow all traces of worry as he approaches.

“W-what's up?” he asks, hoping desperately the stutter wasn't as obvious as it sounded to him.

Cassian looks back out of the control panel he'd stuck his head into in the meantime. “I've been bored with all this downtime, so I'm tinkering with the engines here to see if we can squeeze any more power out of our girl. Take a look and tell me what you think?”

“Okay...” Bodhi squats down next to him, chest swelling with pride that Cassian values his knowledge and opinion enough to ask. As the captain explains the modifications he's made, gesturing with long, grease-streaked fingers, Bodhi first listens raptly, then finds himself drifting, focusing more on the cadence of Cassian's voice, the warmth of his body so close beside him.

Suddenly, Cassian trails off, lifting an eyebrow. “So? Thoughts?”

Bodhi feels a flush rise to his face. “Oh. Um-” He looks into the engine cavity. He knows enough about the standard set-up of the U-wing by now that he thinks he can spot all the changes even without Cassian's guidance. “I think it looks good.”

The captain squints at him. “You seem distracted, Bodhi. Is something bothering you?”

“No, no-” As Cassian leans closer to get a better look at him, Bodhi instinctively jerks back – and slams into the open door of the engine compartment. He cries out, wincing in pain, the metal door reverberating loudly.

“Hey, easy,” Cassian says with a frown, moving forward again, one hand landing steadyingly on Bodhi's arm as the other moves to touch the back of his head. “Are you okay?”

Bodhi winces as Cassian's fingers probe the sore spot, but he forgets it instantly when he looks up. Cassian is so close to him. He can see the deep brown of his eyes, the concern spread across his face, feel the warmth of his breath. “I, uh-”

“Maybe we should take you down to medical,” Cassian suggests. “You're acting...strange.”

Bodhi squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, trying to collect himself. Cassian's hands are still on him, and he knows his face must be aflame. The physical pain is already a distant memory. “I'm just nervous,” he finds himself babbling.

“Nervous? Why are you nervous?” Cassian sounds genuinely puzzled, and when Bodhi opens his eyes, he's still close, his head tilted like a curious animal trying to figure something out.

Oh, stars. This is his chance, Bodhi realizes, and his heart thunders. If the galaxy was ever going to give him an opening, this is it. A better one isn't going to come; he'd be foolish not to take it.

“Willyougooutwithme?” he blurts.

Bodhi can't even breathe as he watches the response play across Cassian's face. Confusion fading to understanding, back to confusion again, then softening into a gentle smile. “You know, if you wanted to go on a date with me, you didn't have to trick me in like this,”

Bodhi just about dies on the spot, because, _Force,_ that wasn't a no. “I didn't actually plan it,” he manages.

“Good. I would hope you wouldn't hurt yourself for me. Though it maybe worked out for you anyway.” The captain's eyes flicker between them, also acknowledging the tiny amount of space between their bodies. His hands still rest on Bodhi, and they seem to grow warmer all the time.

“So, is that...?” Bodhi asks breathlessly, unable to look away. Everything feels like it hinges on this moment, like he's standing on the knife's-edge.

“Yes.” Cassian smiles and leans in just a little closer. “You know, Bodhi Rook, you're _very_ cute when you're nervous.”

Bodhi finds himself leaning back again, though thankfully not as violently this time. “Try it yourself,” he mutters darkly. “It sucks.”

Cassian frowns just a little and squeezes his arm gently. “You don't have to be nervous around me, Bodhi. I'm not going to bite. And if anything I'm doing makes you uncomfortable, just say so.”

“Thank you,” Bodhi says in a tiny voice. He can't begin to explain how good that kind of understanding feels. That's another thing he didn't get under the Empire.

Cassian smiles at him and finally pulls his hands away. Bodhi tries not to mourn the loss too much, but a second later, Cassian is standing and helping him to his feet as well. “You do have a bump there, but I think you'll be okay. I'll try not to make any more sudden movements like that around you in the future. We wouldn't want you getting hurt again.” The words are gentle; Bodhi knows he's trying to remove tension, not actually tease him. It feels good. “I really am sorry about that.”

“It's okay,” Bodhi finds himself saying. It's just now starting to sink in that Cassian said yes to going out with him. And that he called him cute. _Wow._ “So, uh, what should we, you know, do?”

“It was your idea,” Cassian reminds him gently, “but let's start with dinner, if that's okay with you? Obviously there's not anywhere nice to go here, but I have an in with the cook. I can have him make us something nice.”

“That sounds good.” A smile is rapidly growing on Bodhi's face; he tries to control it before it becomes too ridiculous, but it's hard.

Cassian is grinning, too. “Okay.” He rubs a hand across the back of his neck – the first sign that maybe he's been a little nervous too. Bodhi is stunned by the thought. “Well, I should finish here, then Draven wanted to see me about something.”

“I should go, too; I'm supposed to be getting in some target practice at some point.” As a cargo pilot, Bodhi had never had weapons training, but the rebels need all hands on deck, so he's been learning. “I'll see you later?”

“Yeah. See you later.” Before Bodhi can turn to go, Cassian takes his arm and steps in again. Bodhi loses his breath somewhere in Cassian's eyes locked on his for a long moment before the captain leans in and kisses his cheek. Then he gives him a last fond smile before squatting down at the engine compartment once more.

Bodhi doesn't think his face has ever been any redder or his heart happier. He's practically floating as he walks away, none of his usual anxieties present as he's already imagining what their dinner is going to be like.

As he's about to leave the hanger, he spots Wedge at his X-wing and hurries over, a grin on his face. “Wedge!” he calls, and his friend looks up at him with an answering smile.

“Hey, Bodhi! You look happy.” His eyes widen with sudden realization. “Did you talk to Captain Andor?”

As he nods excitedly, Bodhi's grin is so huge it feels like his face might actually break, but he wouldn't even care. “He said yes, Wedge! We're having dinner tonight!”

“Wow, Bodhi, I'm so excited for you! Great job.” Wedge claps him on the shoulder proudly. “Sit with me and tell me all about it?”

Bodhi plops down on a crate as Wedge turns back to his ship and animatedly relays the entire conversation.

“He actually _kissed_ you?” Wedge repeats when he's finished. “Bodhi, you're already in!”

“Well, just on the cheek,” Bodhi demures, his fingers drifting up to touch the point of contact, face pinkening at the memory. “But it was nice.”

“I'll bet.” Wedge laughs a little, but kindly. “It seems pretty obvious to me that your feelings are mutual; now you just need to go on the date and get to know each other even better. Simple.”

Bodhi winces, nerves starting to creep back in. “What if I do something stupid?”

Wedge gives him a sympathetic look. “He said he understood your anxieties. He seems like a good man who's more than willing to be patient with you.”

“Yeah...” Bodhi smiles again remembering Cassian's words.

Wedge watches him, amused. “I can see you've got it so bad for him,” he says. “I don't think the two of you will have any problems. And besides, if you need any advice or anything, I'll always be here.”

“You're the best, Wedge,” Bodhi says without hesitation.

Wedge grins. “I try. And of course in return I want to hear everything about how it goes. Here, let me give you my comlink number, and we can get together tomorrow for a debrief?”

Bodhi laughs. “I'll look forward to it.” Almost as much as the date itself, honestly.


End file.
